Friday, July 28, 2017

Thank you for screaming

Thank you for screaming

I don’t remember the first time I heard a Linkin Park song, but I remember the exact feeling.
After the death of my mother, I was in a downward spiral. There were so many feelings raging through me and when I wasn’t drinking, I could hardly stand all the emotions. I’ve never been someone who was outwardly emotional. I was raised to keep it inside, not to show or let anything out and that was probably killing me inside. These feelings were growing stronger by the day, feeding off my loss and spreading their control. Unable to control these demons, I felt helpless as they started taking over and leaving me a passenger in my own body.

One day when I was driving, a Linkin park song came on the radio and I heard Chester scream for the first time. I screamed along to the song even though I didn’t know the words. I scream at the top of my lungs for what felt like forever and at the end of the song I felt tired and my throat sore. Then, I felt something I haven’t felt in a while, a sense of relief.

I remember driving straight to a best buy and buying the CD. I listen to that CD over and over till I lost my voice from screaming. Chester and Linkin Park’s lyrics expressed what I couldn’t. I don’t know the story behind their songs, but they gave me the words that I wasn’t able to express. More importantly, Chester showed me how to scream.

The buried emotions were eating me up inside and I didn’t know of a way to bring them out. Inside your mind, these emotions are strong. They feed off the darkness in the corners of your mind, but like most demons, if you can bring them into the light, they often lose their power. These feeling won’t be easy to bring out, there’s not thinking it through or working it out. The only way to bring these feelings out it to scream and keep screaming and when you lose your voice, scream some more in silence.

The songs and the voice of Chester will be forever with me as they saw me through some dark times. Every time they’ve re-raised their heads, I know I had Chester with me to bring them to the light where they would have no power.

I am deeply sadden to hear about your death Chester. I know there are many others like me out there that you’ve helped through your music and the power of your voice. There’s nothing I can say that would truly show my appreciation so I’ll keep it simple.  Thank you.   

Chester, may you finally find peace and escape your demons.

Friday, June 09, 2017

God's religion

It's utterly naive and ignorant to think God 
would have a religion.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Salty Egg Crispy Chicken

Saw this at a food hall the other day and was just thinking. We're going to cut you up and cover you in your young and then fry you.

Yea, a bit morbid and in case you're wondering, yes, it's very delicious.


Friday, February 03, 2017

Where to even start

Where to even start

The strategy for Trump, his administration and the GOP is to roll out their hate filled, money grabbing and far right conservative agenda as quickly as possible. They are using blitzkrieg to overwhelm the population and the news media with so much that none of their policies will be properly analysed. Sure, there will be a few major policies that get people riled up, but the majority will slip through the cracks. Even more sinister is that some of these major ones are designed as distractions while they get the others passed.

While Trump and his cronies work at the federal level, the same thing is being done on the state and local level. Using Trump as the distraction / encouragement, so many new anti-choice, discriminatory bills are getting passed every day. You have an administration that just outright lies (e.g., Bowling Green Massacre as a way to defend the Muslim ban? Just outright lie) and no one on the right holds them accountable? Trump and his administration has been beating the drum of 'fake news' so much that when credible news outlets tries to call out these lies, they can easily label them as 'fake news' and the public believes them. 

Trump's administration has started lying about attacks by Iran and China that never happens. To accuse another country of an attack is an attempt to incite a war. That is the end game for this administration as through war they will really concentrate their power. This is a very dangerous game that they're playing. Again, while they distract us with all their horrible internal policies, they are creating the same havoc around the world.

So where do we even start?

To try and keep up with all the damage they’re doing is simply too exhausting. The anger and rage that one feels can’t help but ooze into other aspects of one’s life. I personally feel that the anger I feel is leaking into my personal/social life which is one thing I def don't want. So what’s the solution here? Stay informed and let the anger slowly eat you away? Be uninformed and let the world burn while you ignore the injustices happening? Is there no middle ground?

I would love to say that I have the answers for you, but I don’t. I don’t think there is a silver bullet and more than likely, the answer will be different for each person and will probably change with time.
This is going to be a long and exhausting fight and it’s one we must win. Stay well everyone, remember to take care of yourself. Unplug when you need and come back strong and refreshed. We will remain vigilant while you rest and you can do the same when others need to do the same. 

Together we will turn back this tide.


Saturday, January 21, 2017

Now more than ever

Now more than ever

Yesterday, Donald Trump was sworn in as the American president. As he began his swearing in, rain fell as if in solidarity with so many that now live in fear. Trump swore on a bible that he doesn’t read and on a constitution that he doesn’t believe in (and probably haven’t read either). For years, the conservative movement have used anger, fear and lies to manipulate the American public. With the help of Russia to weaponize the fear and ignorance that they have spent the last 8 years breeding, they won the ultimate prize in putting a con man/puppet in the most prestigious and powerful position in the world, and in turn, giving rise to a new era of fear and uncertainty for the world.

For decades, the US and most of the world have been slowing evolving in the progressive values of equality and caring for not only ourselves, but our fellow human beings. We started to care more about the state of the planet, about those without a voice and those under such horrible situations that we can’t ignore. While most of world was working towards these goals, we ignored a dangerous minority growing all over the world. A minority who fears losing power, a minority that has no interest in equality and a minority that seeks to force their hateful views on everyone around them. This minority was cultivating a local and global fear culture, and succeeding.

Hate/fear groups are generally well known by organisations that keeps track of this type of thing (e.g., Southern Poverty law Center). We’ve had too many run ins with these hate groups in the US (and worldwide) to not keep track of these groups, but where we failed was to take action when the canaries were sounding the alarm.  For too long, the general public ignored that these hate groups were growing in numbers and influence (esp in the last 8 years of the Obama administration). Meanwhile there were others who naively tolerated their hate in the hopes that they would somehow change on their own. 

By ignoring or trying to somehow get along with these hate groups and not taking the steps to root them out (or at least a stronger plan to contain their numbers and influence) is how we’ve ended up with a Trump presidency. During the last 9 months (or so) of the presidential election, progressives were not prepared to battle with this level of hate culture. They were well funded, well organised and had the help from a major foreign power. It would’ve taken a major effort to combat them even if we were prepared which we were far from. Even towards the end, too many progressives still believed in the good of people and believe that people will do the right thing.

Never again.

We need to realize and examine the mistakes that we’ve made, but it’s time to move on. Spending too much time looking backwards is not productive. We’ve had a few months now to feel shocked, sad, and drink our misery away. Trump is now the president and he’s bringing in a host of hatred and ignorance to his cabinet to further spread the hate culture in the US and around the world. 

Now, it’s time to get off our asses. It’s time to work. Make no mistake, we are all under attack. Even if you're not being attacked today, you will be tomorrow. If we don't rise up for each other, they will divide and conqure.

This time, we need to be better prepared. We cannot underestimate the strength of hate and fear again. We must be prepared to fight (we can’t bring a drum circle to a gun fight). It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to be pretty, it’ll take a lot of time and effort, but it’s something we must do. We must think about the long and short game (the hate groups are extraordinary at the long game). 

Hate groups all around the world have been embolden by a Trump presidency. We must show them that they will never be the norm, we will not accept the hate and fear that they represent and we will drive them back into the dark corners where they came from. They may have caught us unprepared and won this battle, but we will win the war.

Today, as in the times before, we fight not only for ourselves, but those who are powerless, those that will be a target by this hate administration, and for future generations.  Now, more than ever, organise, take action and join the resistance!