Sunday, January 30, 2005


Love glitters because of its many facets; it captivates us because it is always unique, always brings with it what it means to be alive. Most of us would say that we have felt love at one time or another, but what exactly is love? One of the biggest human misconceptions is that love has a universally shared definition, as do words like dog, or apple, or run. However, everyone’s experiences and need of love are never the same. Even for two people in the same relationship, the experience and need of love are different. Though we may be connected in some form to those we are closest to, we will never be able to share the same feelings as we are all individuals with our own set of recipe for how we feel about love.

There is a limitation in our language because it is so limited, we say both “ I love you” and “ I love cake”, as though the two sentiments were the same. What people seem to mean when they say that they “love” is that they are feeling intensely, in either a yearning or joyful ways. “I love” means that someone (or something) matters a great deal to me or provokes a strong positive response in me. The only difference is in the intonation that determines the degree of emotional intensity that one feels. When people talk about loving, they also seem to experience little contradiction in the fact that they love their mother, their father, their friends, etc. All of these, however, are qualitatively and quantitatively different. It would be difficult for a stranger of our culture to come in and be able to distinguish what we mean when we say that we love something or someone.

So before we can speak on the subject of love, we have to first define which aspect of love we will be discussing and what we mean by that. Love here in this case is the passion of one lover for another, the mutuality of shared experience, the gratitude for understanding validation, the security of being adequately held, the admiration for someone who is wonderful, and the joy of feeling at home.

The model for the need of love emphasizes a human yearning for connection. Within the need of connection lurks the threat (and experience) of the opposite. For example, we are most aware of being held when we begin to fall or feel smothered. Nothing sharpens ours sense of ourselves and our meaning for others as much as a heated argument. In other words, we never fully realize what we have until we are threatened with that thing diminishing or becoming overburdening.

The connection that we feel is what defines who we are in the world. We discover the self through our connections with other, and as we grow, we refine and modify our connections to more complex and deeper ways of reaching others. No matter how much we try, we never fully bridge the space between us. It is with this little bit of difference that separates us and makes us individuals. Even when we are married to another, even when we share our lives together. The two people becomes one, but still of separate halves. For 2 people to completely mesh into one would not only be unhealthy, but quite impossible.

To be unloved is an unbearable feeling because it means that we have no real meaning or importance to anyone. I speak of being unloved not in terms of a significant other, but to anyone. As humans, we are stuck with our inescapable need for the emotional responsiveness of another. Even as an infant, we seek the approval and responsiveness of our parents, and this need for approval and responsiveness may repeat itself with the feeling for a need to have a child. Some may feel that there’s a lack of need for you and a feeling of emptiness develops. What better way to fill that void than to simply creating a new being that will be completely devoted/need you? Thus our addiction to being needed continues. This addiction for need will continue till our heart stops beating.

Unless we know that we are somewhere part of the affective life of another, we cannot feel our own existence. This is not to say that we are defined by other’s perception of our existence, but other’s acknowledgment of AN existence. This is why some people who fear that they are unloved often work to be hated (hate being just another face of love in its intensity and its selectivity.) Also, another sign of a person who is unloved shows signs of aggression. People are not inherently aggressive. Rather, our fears of aloneness and loss make us rageful, and we learn to use our anger to try to compel others to meet our needs.

People live with both their fantasies of love and their experiences of love. Inner representations of loving relationships may have little to do with how people appear to observers. We sigh when we watch movies like ‘Sleepless in Seattle’, or ‘Casablanca’ but carry on with the less romantic folks at home. Many people are just not willing to take the risk involved in trying to fulfill a fantasy of love for the great fear that they may not be able to recover from the loss. This is a problem that only we can answer for ourselves. Are we satisfied with taking the beaten path, where all the road signs are there to direct us on a safe and uneventful road. Or will we risk it all in search of that one true romance that others only dream of? What is the price that we will pay if we do not succeed?

Like anything great and worth the effort, the risks are high, but remember the reward. No one should ever tell you what to do in this subject. Sure there are times when it’s obvious that one is doing the wrong thing, but sometimes it’s not that easy. In many choices, it’s not a matter of right or wrong. Simply a choice with which one has a certain ending, and one is unknown. No one has the right answers, and no one will know what can and will happen.

Please note that the choice doesn’t necessarily involve a new person. Simply the choice of doing something different, with the same person or with a new person. It matters not. It’s simply something that you’ve longed to do. Doing something so that at the end of your years, you won’t have to wonder, and to ask yourself “what-if”. “What-If”, a Hell like no other.

I had a point when I started writing this, but that was 4 drinks ago. I'll just let you make your own conclusions.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Mi Nombre es Pup

I forgot to post about this last week. I’m taking a Spanish class. I’ve always wanted to learn Spanish. Mostly because I want to be able to communicate with such a large population of people, me wanting to travel south this summer, and of course, a whole new population of senoritas for me to hit on. Oh, maybe if I can get fluent enough, I can drunk call in spanish too! The advantages are endless.

The class doesn’t start until 7pm, so that allows me to go home first. It’s only my 2nd week, but both weeks, the idea of skipping has already flowed through my head (yea, even the first week). That of course, would be silly. It’s just that it’s been years since I’ve actually had to go to class. Old habits dies hard (Not entirely true since I had perfect attendence all throughout high school. College and grad school is a completely different stories though.).

This class is a little different in that we don’t learn like you would regularly learn a new language. It's not like taking Spanish 1. There’s no grammar. This is Spanish for the work place, so we learn things people say most often, especially in the work place. We learn phrases, and common words and commands needed in the work place.

For me, it's No entiendo, por favor repite, and hable mas despacio!

I think it’s pretty fun to just memorize phrases. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand if there are variations, but I think I'm starting to get enough of the gist. Fun, Fun, FUN! I can’t tell you how much fun learning a new language is!

Nothing exciting this weekend to report. I have some good things coming up in the next couple of weekends, so I’m going to spend some QT in the apt. There’s cleaning to be done (pup leaves bottles everywhere), and games to be played. Especially this new one a friend just got me.

If you’ve never played it, Zoo Tycoon is a kick ass game! It’s like sim-city, but you build a zoo. It’s very addicting. No really, it’s fun. Shut up!

Have a good Friday and weekend everyone!

Lo veo el proximo lunes!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Animal-Human Hybrids Spark Controversy

This is a very interesting article. I was pretty amazed that there’s so much of this already going on. As you may recall, this type of research was what I was going to do on my secret island that I would buy when I win the lottery. I would combine super monkeys with other animal traits and abilities for a perfect army. We wouldn’t attack anyone of course, just getting ready for the pre-emptive strikes.

I fully support this type of research because there are many medical benefits that could result from this. However, parts of me can’t stop thinking about the theoretical arguments for making Chimeras.

Duplicating humans is one thing. It’s been done. It’s nothing new. No big deal. In this case, new species are being created. Not only that, they are being created for the sole purpose of research and harvested for parts.

Much of the following debates isn’t valid until much further into this research, but I like to think long term and it’s my post so there.

How much success and how far the development will go before we say, ‘No, we can’t just harvest them because they’re living creatures’. Will we ever see them as equals or just parts for us to harvest?

Before I go on, all you Anti-choice people need to stop thinking that this is the same issue because it’s not. I’m not going to get into it here, but it’s not the same thing.

What are the responsibilities for us being creators of these creatures? And doesn’t it seem very selfish that we would create another whole species just to allow our kind (humans) to live longer using their parts? What kind of species are we to be so obsessed to live beyond our normal timeline?

Also, why is there such a big fear of death? It’s natural. Getting fixed up with different body parts is not. It’s Frankensteinism. Yea, I made that word up. It’s not natural.

There are 6.5 billion people in the world right now. Why do we need to extend the life span of people when the population growth shows no signs of slowing? As it is, the planet will have problems supporting life in the next 50 yrs or so.

On one hand, I fully support this research. However, I really do have reservations for where it would take the human specie on a grander scheme.

Questions to think about.

On a fun note, what other animal parts/traits would YOU want to have added to you?

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Sweet Nectar of the Gods

I generally average about 12 or so emails at work a day. After missing Monday for work due to the wedding, how many emails awaits me at work? 12 you say? No. Cause that would be too logical. The correct answer is 54! 54 Damn emails?! What the Hell?

For some reason, my out of office message has become the magnet for work emails.

So no blogging for the last couple of days as I was actually working and trying to catch up.

The wedding went very well in case you were wondering. The bride did crack up during the vowels during rehearsals. Not exactly a laughing moment, but by wedding time, there were tears. It was all very sweet.

I think I did ok with the speech even though a couple of kids were trying to out stage me. So I told them their daddy drinks cause they’re being bad. That shut them up. I think I’ll share this part cause it’ll embarrass Ko. As part of the ‘Things to do” during the bachelor party, he had to write 10 reasons why he loved his fiancĂ©e. One good thing about watching all those cheesy movies is I get some good ideas about this kind of stuff.

So during my speech, I read the list. I saw some tears! Yea, I’m smooth.

Funniest moment of the wedding besides my speech and one of the aunts dancing:
Me: "Dude, that girl you're hitting on is only 22."
Dude: "Oh really? Hmmmmm....
Dude: "And?"
Me: "Nothing"

Ok, so it was funnier in my head.

So with that I say Congratulations Ko and J!!!

There’s been something on my mind since last Friday (yes, drunk call night). My friend and I went to a pub. No, not just some half ass place calling itself a pub (not some stupid ass bar and grill either), but a pub pub. They served the finest beer from all the land. I’m pretty sure if you ordered anything domestic they’d kick your ass out.

I tried something my friend’s friend had recommended. It came in a little funny glass. There probably wasn’t but about 12 oz or so in the cup. When that dark slow flowing liquid touched my lips, OMG! The taste was incredible. Not to sound cheesy, but it tasted like the first time you kissed someone. New, exciting, delicious, and you just want to have that taste on your lips forever.

Maybe I just have a problem, but I was still thinking about it today at work. This is a Belgium beer named Gulden Draak. If you can find it, it is truly your lucky day. Fun fact about this heavy dark beer, it is 10.5 % alcohol by volume. I think I have a pretty high tolerance, but 2 glasses of this stuff and I was buzzing like a freshman at his first kegger (that’s a shout out to BigPinz).

Gulden Draak is the sweet nectar of the Gods. I would know. I’m a megalomaniac.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

Friday, January 21, 2005

Oh Hell NA.... NO you didn't!!!

Sorry to post over the Happy Celebration of Ko's wedding this weekend, but this is too angering to me.

Christians issue gay warning on SpongeBob video
A video made by a non-profit organization designed to encourage tolerance and diversity in children is being attacked by christian groups as being exploited to promote the acceptance of homosexuality.

Are you people fucking kidding me? You are actually trying to imply that teaching children acceptance and tolerance is a bad thing? Or maybe just be tolerant of those things you think are ok and not others? Hey asshole, that's not the definition of acceptance or tolerance. Look it up.

It's like being pregant. You're either tolerant or not, you're either accepting of other's way or not. Stop pretending you're one of the good guys. Cause you're not. You hate for no reason. You hate cause you're afraid. Afraid that you are wrong.

I think Yoda says it best. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

On another point.

First of all, what kind of sick fucks are you to even see sexuality in children's cartoons and children's shows? As soon as you see that something is made for children, all your senses for anything sexual should be immediately turned off. If not, you've got some issues to work out sicko!

Ok.. back to Happy KO wedding stuff!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Going to the chapel and we’re…. gonna get…. MARRRRIED..

Taking off for Ko’s wedding this weekend in Atlanta in a few hours!! I can’t believe Ko’s getting married. Who would’ve guess he could get a girl THAT drunk! Ha.. ok, just kidding.

I hope I don’t say stupid shit like that for my speech. Argh.. the pressure of having to make a speech. Damn, I need to get liquored up for this. I better write it down too.

Beware! Any of you that are programmed in my phone. This WILL be a very big drunk calling weekend. Mark my words… around 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning… be prepared for one drunk obnoxious phone call, or if you don’t pick up, one drunk obnoxious voice mail!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I’ll be sure to have good stories next week!

In the meantime, Guess the Blogger hand!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I watched a special tonight on PBS. It was about the Nazi. If you didn't know, I have a slight obsession about everything WWII. It was such a breakthrough period in the history of our species. Not a good breakthrough. I believe for the first time, we saw what we as a specie could truly become.

This special tonight was a bit disturbing and showed my point perfectly. Basically, it was about the Nazi's development, fine-tuning, and perfecting of mass murdering methods. This was not a happy special. No, no happy meal special here.

I'm not going to go into details, but I think you can imagine the horror. Actually you probably can't. Most people can't. Don't worry, that's a good thing. The horror of how some brilliant individuals used their minds not for good and to help man-kind, but for evil and to slaughter as many innocent men, women, and children as quickly as possible.

There were several accounts from individuals who survived the horrible events, and there were movie clips giving you a glimpse of the death that so many people lived with for so long. For those survivors, these images are no doubt burned into their memories that will always haunt them. I stared into the screen. I drift off a little. I keep staring into the old videos and death camps and just imagined.......

The Cell

In this room, I am confined by the stones and the aged steel.
My body they have locked and thrown away.
Trapped inside the confides of this mutated earth.
My body is nourished by the scrapes and filth they have left, and that even their animals will not touch.
Just enough to keep my body alive and my mind broken.
They won’t allow me to die, for then I would be free.
I cannot die, for then they would claim victory.
I am bound to this room, and this room to me.
My mind drifts, to different and familiar places.
I can no longer differentiate between the two, for in my mind, reality and fantasy blurs as one.
There I am warm, there I am happy, and mostly importantly, there I am free.
Like a dog running towards a bone and without realizing it, the leash snaps and chokes me back into reality.
The reality that I am in this cell.

Help me. Please.

Hump Day Mini's

* In case you haven't seen it yet, go see Jib Jab's new cartoon 'Second Term' here. They're the people who brought you 'This Land', and 'It's good to be in DC'.

* ABBA's cool. I've been listening to them all day. That still shouldn't raise me above the 30% mark though.

* I can't decide if I should write a speech for this weekend's wedding, or just get hammered and say what's on my mind. Hammered Pup speeches are more fun, but not always appropriate. Especially for a wedding.

* I think someone has put some magical spell on my bed that doesn't allow me to get off it in the morning. That and it's about 60 degrees in my apt. in the morning. Burrrr....

* My apt. is a lot more quiet without 6 drunken ladies.

* Why doesn't more hotels offer hot tubs in the rooms?

* We're almost at 10, 000 hits!! Too bad half of those are just me. If you're the 10K guest, a special prize awaits!

* Here's an interesting read about teens today and their views on Sex. It's funny that teenagers already have 'friends with benefits'. Where the hell were them when I was in high school?

* Thing like this makes me nervous about having a niece. I may have one soon, and I think I may go crazy once she gets around 13. Don't give me that arugment about 'she likes it too'. That's my niece!! No dirty perv. boy is getting anywhere near her.

* I've already planned out the first time a boy comes to pick her up for a date. I'll be there, probably T. I'd be drunk with a bottle of Jack and a knife when I come open the door. We'd grill'em. A few questions T and I will ask, 'how old are you? (look damn near 30 to me), 'what are your intents?', 'ever made love to man, boy? Want to?'

* Just wondering... where did you learn what to do during oral sex (Friends? Experience? Porn? Books?)? Just curious.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Pup Bondage
Yet another picture you didn't need in your head

Monday, January 17, 2005

Blog-Fest 2005!!!

Kansas City
Love, BBQ, and Happiness. With temperature highs in the teens.

Being the only Pup in a group of 6 very lovely ladies is not a bad thing. This last weekend, several of the bloggers from around the country descended into the amazingly butt-ass cold Kansas city for a gathering.

I'm not going to describe all the bloggers again because Nanner, Jamie, and Peon have all done such good jobs. The only thing I will say is that even if you've seen pics of these gals, they are all by far cuter than their digital doubles.

One thing I will say. On Friday night, we went to get BBQ for dinner at Jack Stacks (Best BBQ in KC, and in a very very close race with Dreamland BBQ for best BBQ in the country). Being a large group, they herded us into a private dinning room. I sat there between the 6 ladies, not being able to decide if I'm big pimping or I'm one of the girls.

It may have been a BBQ induced hallucination, I went with big pimping. I almost order a Hennessy/Courvoisier to fit my role as pimp.

I thought I had something funny to say there, but I guess not. Too late to erase now.

So here's the short version of Saturday night when the ladies came over to my place for dinner. There were 6 women in my apt. Yada Yada. I was SO tired the next morning...

That not good enough for you? Too bad.

I thought the dinner came out pretty well. There was even an extra special dish that wasn't on the menu. Curry Meat balls (don't be nasty) with grounded peanuts. They were delicious.

I put in a bit too much butter so the flaming berry sauce was a bit more runny than I would have liked. It was still flaming though, so that's cool.

Although my hands were busy all night... from stuff... I was surprised no one asked me to show off my turntable skillz. Yea, the z means I'm good. Maybe they knew they wouldn't be able to control themselves onces they see my moves (I bought you got served last month, so I've been practicing :))

I'm sure there are stories that will pop up that I'll post later. Don't count on it though. The only stories that I remember are WAY too enjoyable to share. HA. Feel that love. No, seriously. I'm not sharing. At least not without someone buying me some drinks.

I had the most wonderful time this weekend that I'll remember forever, I'm glad all you gals took the time and effort to come out to KC.

On a side note. Strangers coming to visit me... Hmmm.... where the hell are those people that actually know me?! Hello? Yea, I'm talking to you.

And no, there's still no Rick Springfield here.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Welcome back to the Pup Bistro'!

Here's the Menu for Saturday Night.

White wine Sangria

Prosciutto wrapped Asparagus with Balsamic Vinegar
Pan Seared Saki soaked Tuna with sesame and Ponku sauce
Steamed Buns filled with Minced Meat
Caramelized Onion Focaccia bread topped with Gorgonzola cheese and Scallop
Baked Miso-Dipped Chicken


Flaming berry sauce over chocolate chip ice-cream with brownie anchor

Fine selection of after dinner drinks and shots also available. Please ask the host.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Air Pup

Being a one foot tall stuffed bear has its advantages. I’m snuggly and the chicks dig the clothes I wear. But like any mutant power, this short cuddly stature comes with its disadvantages as well.

The one big disadvantage I’m talking about here is during basketball season. I have a big fondness for basketball. No, not the NBA or all those punk ass spoiled millionaires. I like the game.

Ever since middle school, a group of my friends would wander around neighborhoods playing basketball. Running at the local hot spots for pick-up games. Having your crew run against others in the neighborhood. It sounds silly, but it was great. When night time came, we would go to certain houses that had a flood light to keep playing. Damn we spent a lot of time playing basketball.

These were my boys. If we weren’t playing basketball, we’d just be hanging out. If one of us got in trouble on the court or off, the others would jump in without a second though. I know I’ll probably never have that kind of bond anymore (well, mainly cause I don’t play street ball anymore, or get in fights with groups of people, and anyone I know that I could really call is hundreds of miles away).

So every year, like a moth to fire, I sign up for a couple of rec. league basketball teams. Just hoping to recapture a little bit of that feeling from the past. Sadly, every year, I think I get worst.

You would think after all these years of playing, I would be decent at the game. Oh how wrong you would be. I like the physical inside game. Mainly cause I like the hitting and bumping and pounding things inside, but also because I can’t dribble that well.

This is where being one foot tall is problematic (Unless you can assign 100 points to blocking/rebounding. You know what’s up Furdell). I can still play some D, rebound, and box-out (thanks to 2 years of daily box-outs drills), but the offensive is just shit.

This last Monday was our first official game of the season. We were killed. I don’t think I helped any with my game.

Last Monday’s stats:

Pup: 0 points 2 rebounds 1 assist 7 Turnovers (6 in the first half, but only 1 in the second)

~sigh~ 8 more weeks.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Sweet Soft Butter!!

iPods for the rest of us!!

In case you haven't heard, check out this article!

The iPod shuffle: 512MB holding up to 120 songs for just $99 and 1GB holding up to 240 songs for just $149.


Monday, January 10, 2005

Another one of these from the Bondage Chicken

3 names you go by:
1. Pup
2. Pupbert
3. Puppa

3 screen names you have:
1. Pupbert
2. PlaywithMegan1719
3. I've got nothing...

3 things you like about yourself:
1. The voices all finally playing well together
2. my cheesyness
3. being able to make people feel good

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. not knowing more languages
2. my shyness
3. the anger not going away

3 things that scare you:
1. not being able to save the world if I had the chance
2. letting people down who depends on me
3. regretting

3 of your everyday essentials:
1. email
2. liquids… lots and lots of liquids
3. music

3 things you're wearing right now:
1. A blue bra. Oh.. wait.. I mean.. blue boxers with monkeys on them
2. sweat pants
3 . a strange sleeved T-shirt. It’s not long or short, it comes a bit past the elbows. WTF?

3 of your favourite bands/artists:
1. Pet Shop Boys
2. Sarah McLachlan (Live - 20 rows back center stage in april!!!)
3. DJTiesto/Paul Van Dyk

3 of your favourite songs at present: (in no particular order, and I will remember better ones after I submit this)
1. Mr. Brightside – The Killers
2. Stoned - Dido
3. What you waiting for? - Gwen Stefani

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Go outside the country.
2. Get my GED
3. Move to another state

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Feeling safe (knowing she’ll always be there for you)
2. Excitement about the relationship and our future
3. Complementary behaviors/interests

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
1. I have a gianormous toy collection
2. I’m very good with bonsai trees
3. Have amazing accuracy hitting a target 30yds away with a throwing axe

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
1. smile
2. How she dances/moves
3. smell

3 things you just can't do:
1. Run for a really really long time
2. Get in bed with Heidi Klum (Damn you Seal!! DAMN!!)
3. Have a good inside game in basketball (being a one foot stuffed bear has its limits)

3 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Going to see a kick ass DJ and dancing
2. Video Games
3. Traveling

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Leave for a trip somewhere (i.e., it’s about time the Vegas email gets started people)
2. Be somewhere tropical right now with someone
3. Kissing

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider):
1. Head of Evil Empire located on private Island (complete with hollowed out volcano)
2. Owner of kick ass restaurant/club
3. Sarah McLachlan Roadie

3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Ibiza
2. A tropical island in the southern hemisphere (includes Peru, Costa Rica, and Panama (country, not FL city))
3. Japan

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. That’s not my kid….
2. I want a DNA test…
3. That ain't my baby mama

3 things you want to do before you die:
1. Save someone’s life
2. Hook up a couple of my friends so they'll finally get laid/married
3. Travel in space

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
1. Barrie
2. Mandy
3. LiAps

Friday, January 07, 2005

It’s 7 days into the New year and so it’s about time for another edition of..

What the FUCK is wrong with you people?

If you have followed this blog and some of the rants, you may have picked up the fact that I have no love for the religious right-wing egomaniacs. They’re not just the harmless guys yelling at street corners or the ones yelling fire and brimstones anymore. No, they’ve evolved.

Especially true in the last decade, the religious right has slowly creeped into the mainstream. Assuming high level positions in our government and in our neighborhoods. Everywhere we go, there is an affluent religious leader at the helm of groups that has nothing to do with religion or faith (i.e. think education).

No longer are they the ones looking in from the outside. In the political landscape today, it is them who holds the power. The power to market fear into our psyches and in doing so, further their own twisted agenda.

For today’s rant, I’m going to talk about the new Justice Department’s guidelines for treating rape victims. I’m talking about it cause rape is something I absolutely have no tolerance of. There are times and sometimes justification for drugs, stealing, and maybe even homicide, but at no time will there ever be one for rape (child abuse is in this category too, but that's another post).

In the new guidelines for rape victims, there were no mentioning of emergency contraceptives for rape victims. A few organizations out there states that emergency contraceptives were in earlier versions of the guidelines, but were taken out because of political fears.

What the Fuck? How fucking wrong and sad is it when you are using people’s lives to play you little damn political game and for you to argue your damn moral high grounds on? Who the fuck is you? Not that I know, but I’m betting that it’s a bunch of old rich white dudes up there thinking they know how it would feel to get raped.

What I wouldn’t give to have someone ass rape their fucken egotistical self and then ask them to rethink these guidelines.

All this talk of the pregnancy also shows these people’s need to prove their points and their agenda over any emotional or physical concerns of the women who are raped. I mean, aren’t they basically saying, well, it’s too bad you were raped, but now we’re only concern that you do your role as a baby carrier. We don't really care what you think about things anymore.

They can defend their stance with their moral high ground all they want, but like most of these anti-choice decisions, these fuckers never think of the long term picture. Yes, you may have allowed a child to be born. But what is the child born into? A mother that looks at the child as the product of not love, but of a twisted violent mental illness. A life born probably in the lower socioeconomical status? As if the kid doesn’t already have an up hill battle. Yea, that’s a good life for the kid. Of course you don’t care about anything like this as long as you prove your little point huh?

What about giving the child up for adoption? Once again, it’s another one of your ideal scenarios that’s all nice and pretty in your head, but so much uglier in real life.

Hey you. Guess what? Your morality isn’t always the right thing to do. The greater good always is. Hence the phrase greater good. Stop using real people’s lives for you petty self-righteous little theoretical games. Starting thinking of doing the right thing for once damn it.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Fade into the Half-Lite

So I think I screwed up last night. Actually I'm damn sure I screwed up. You be the judge.

A friend of mine has been nagging me to call her. She wants to know how I spent my holidays. Yesterday I shot her an e-mail promising I'd call early in the evening.

Well before I left work my homeboys called. A spaghetti dinner was to be had, movies were to be watched, computers gonna be hooked up.... How can I pass that up?

I got home, put on my hip-hop gear, grabbed the party essentials and walked past the phone. I didn't think of her until 12:30a...after there was no one else to talk to. After thinking of her waiting for my call.

"Is it too late to call?" Probably.
"Should I call anyhow?" .....
"Damn!!! I fucked up!"

What do I do? Nothing's on the television. The music I listen to scares me too much. THIS HAS HAPPENED TWICE...WITH THE SAME GIRL!!!!!!!

I make excuses.

"She's long distance. She should be calling me."
"I hate telephones as it is! It always seems as if I'm talking to myself."
"I didn't do anything for the holidays! That's gotta be obvious if I don't call."
"I shouldn't feel bad. I don't want anyone to care for me." (classic)

Defense mechanisms.

I'm too blind to see that she really "likes" me. Its simple to see. Maybe its too simple--

The kicker. I receive an e-mail from her this morning addressed to me and several of her mentors.

"Urgent! Don't forget to mail recommendations! Deadline approaching! These are the places...."

I'm such a dumbass.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Hiring Discrimination? Screw that. We don’t care about that here anymore.

At least not when it comes to faith

How in the hell did I miss this? Or how was this not posted on the front page of every newspaper in the country? Are we so obsessed with useless news that we’re missing the real stuff? No, I don’t care which celebrities are hooking up and certainly not about this weird obsession with a pathological liar that killed his wife cause he was too much of a piece of shit to burden himself with any responsibilities.

All this coverage just to further another agenda of the conservative right to give the fetus rights. Get a clue people. People get killed everyday. There’s a reason for this much coverage. Ok, that’s another post for later.

Anyway, I’m not sure how I stumbled onto this information, but it’s apparently is what the president wants and so it’s probably going to be law. All signs seem to point that direction. It’s been going on for a couple of years now and with no one really challenging it I suppose it will be snuck in like that fucken RAVE Act.

So here’s the problem. As part of the president’s faith-based and community initiative, the president states that:

“When they (organizations) receive Federal funds, they should retain their right to hire those individuals who are best able to further their organizations’ goals and mission.”

What this means folks is that it is ok for companies to hire based on what religion you are. I’m not taking this out of context or making this up. This is what this initiative does. Check out the religious hiring rights handbook.

For some reason, the president and his cronies have this idea that the civil rights and religious liberties of faith-based organizations are under attack. The present laws states that no federal funds can be used directly for religious specific programs. The law prevents funds from going to religious groups. The whole idea behind separation between church and state. This idea which this country was founded on, now is under attack by the president.

So hence, he and the voices that guide him has began this crusade to overthrow these type of laws. With these new laws, a religious organization will be allowed to hire people not based on any type of skill or job competencies, but simply based on faith (i.e. – Christian organization can hire only Christians, Jewish organizations only Jews, etc.)

After so many people have worked so hard to get civil rights for everyone back in the 60s, this one act by such a misguided president can undo any and all that people have worked for in giving people basic civil rights.

Companies are not allowed to discrimination based on race, gender, age, disabilities, or national origin when making hiring decision. It’s completely insane that religion is no longer going to be a protected class. I mean, just imagine not getting a job not because you’re not capable or willing, but just because of your faith. That is what this act will allow organizations do.

This is a big problem that will spread like a horrible disease. A horrible, horrible infectious disease.

Hire individuals who are best able to “further their organizations goals and mission” is so vague that it can be translated into a number of things. In their insanely narrow-minded and prejudice goal to make this a strictly Christian based country, they are destroying all that this country was founded for. The religious fanatics behind this are the real terrorists. These are the type of people we are fighting with overseas right now. These religious freaks in our own country are the ones who hate the real American way of life. A way that is tolerant and accepting of all that are here.

ARGHHHH!! Why don’t you people see this?!?!

I can’t write about this anymore. My heart’s beginning to pound much to fast. Please take a read at the document and be afraid. Very very afraid.

Why Religious Hiring Rights Must be Preserved

Monday, January 03, 2005

Before this gets too old..

Tennessee 38 – Texas A&M 7

Yea, suck a nut you damn Aggies!! In case you don’t know, I can’t stand Texas A&M. This isn’t just a simple dislike, or aversion. My relationship with Texas A&M is better described by words like loathe and despise. It’s a special level of hate. Not used or even thought about by common experiences. No.. this is special. My absolute disgust at anything Aggie is almost clinically problematic for me to think rationally when dealing with them (especially during football season).

So during this College bowl season, I saw that my university was playing the nemesis of my being, I couldn’t be happier. I knew the Vols and Smokey (our mascot) would make those Aggies and Reverence (their mascot) our bitches Saturday morning.

The Vols did not disappoint. It was a 28-0 thrashing by half time. Luckily for those around me, I am a bit more calm when we’re winning (I’m just not into gloating). I almost hope it would be a close game. Things would be thrown, profanities would be shouted at the top of my lungs, verbal threats all around, good time for all.

Ironically, my sister went to Graduate School at A&M. I never visited her. I did go to her graduation, but I wore a large coat and a fake handlebar mustache so I would not be recognized.
I watched 'Bring it on' last night... again. Yup, Dushku is still hot.

BTW, as if I didn’t like Sandra Bullock before. She goes and does this.