Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Respect My Pimping!

I heard this at the pool table next to mine. I think if you have to tell someone to respect your pimping, you’re not doing that great of a job. I couldn't help but hear that phrase in Cartman voice. Also, one said for their tie breaker game, they’re doing this straight street. Yea, they're playing pool. I’m not lying. They actually said straight street. If you’ve seen ‘You got served’ you’d know this is hilarious.

Me mind you, was not playing pool. I was, get ready for it… Shuffle boarding. That’s right bitches, Shuffle board. It’s a good time. I’m not good at it, but it’s fun! And nooooo it’s not just for old people.

There was this couple that played next to us. I'm not being mean I swear, but they just looked so interesting. Nothing specific, but just that they're both super skinny and a little bit awkward. Ok, by a little bit, I mean just regular awkward. Like I said, I'm not sure what it is or what I even mean by that, but they were interesting to watch. At one point I think I tried imagining them having sex. Yea, awkward sex. I'm sure they do it wild and crazy though. Go awkward looking couple go!!

I think guys have cycles. Like womanly cycles, but without the mass blood loss. Just times when your mood is all different. Yea, don’t fight it, you know you have cycles. Luckily, I’m out of my hateful mean cycle and now I’ve entered into my best cycle. My need to dance cycle. Yes, these are all scientific terms, hateful mean cycle and dance cycle.

That’s right. It’s time to dance.

Maybe it’s not a cycle, but that I’m just actually semi caught up a bit at work. At least enough where people are not yelling at me anymore. So it was time for beats. I turned up the music with some hard trance blaring. In between calls and emails, it was go time. I needed both the practice and the exercise. It’s quite a funny scene really.

I was thinking of what to do in the coming weeks. Should I try new things or get back in the swing of doing old school things. I really haven’t been doing very much besides sitting here in this room working.

------------
You know what’s funny? I wrote that part above last night. I’m not going to say if alcohol had anything to do with it or just general tiredness. Now that I read it, it sounds really silly. Not that any of it is untrue, but still. Too bad I didn’t put down the other stuff I was writing. Ha, that’d be a good read for everyone.

Whatever I do, I need to get the crew together. Maybe get some new people, but need a crew nevertheless. Time to start recruiting.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Watch out

Lately, I’ve been uncommonly mean. Not just regular mean, but bottom of the barrel sludge vileness. The things that are spewing out of my mouth are just plain hateful. It was like in any instance, I would choose the worst possible thing to say. Right after I say it, I'd find myself saying, damn that was mean, what the hell is wrong with you? You being me. Yes, I dissociate like that.

Unfortunately, this was also our semi-family reunion. My siblings live either in another country or across the country. We only see each other about once a year. I found that I was just generally unpleasant to be with all weekend. This is odd too since everyone else seems to be all cheery or at least trying to be cheery. This is traditionally my role to make everyone cheery, but it seems so reversed this weekend. I was just all kinds of hateful.

I think the main reason is work. It’s almost unreasonable how much work we have right now. Along with a few bad clients, this is putting me in a really bad mood. I have to use up all my patiences dealing with people all during the day. By the time I’m done I’m just a big ball of hatefulness.

I’m glad I don’t commute. Man, there’d be some road rage going on.

I’ve been trying to do more fun things to balance out this work stress. Every time I go out though, I’m still thinking about all the work that I’m not doing. This is even affecting how much I drink. I’m finding myself drinking less so I can still work after going out. See, told ya this is a real problem.

I even committed a personal cardinal sin yesterday because of work. I missed our winter end of season tournament. I blamed it on the weather, but it was only raining for a little bit. It was a perfect day to play. I backed out though to do work. I don’t back out of Ultimate, and especially an end of season tournament. I feel so guilty.

This is not something I want in case you think I enjoy working this much.

I’m not sure if this is just temporary or the beginning of a trend. I sure hope it’s not the beginning of a trend. My boss said that instead of us slowing down by April, it wouldn’t be till May or June this year. I was going to take off for a trip in April to give myself a break and my first real vacation (yea, I’ve never had one over 4 days), but looks like we’re going to have to move that. Although I think I’ll be able to go further away with going later in the year so that’ll be good.

I’m so ready to go somewhere as far away as I can and as soon as I can.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Pieces

I’ve always been a person that thinks he can fix things. That’s my thing. With my friends, work, groups, give me the problem. I’ll fix it. This mentality has always been a part of me. I’ve always wanted to fix things.

I learned a good lesson recently. I’m sure I should’ve learned this a while ago when some good friends told me, but I didn’t learn. Oh how that’s come back to haunt me now.

There are things and situations in life that simply can’t be fixed. There are things that the harder you try to fix, the more broken it becomes. Not all problems are meant to be fixed. Some things are problems for a reason. In many instances, you’re only fixing a symptom. Fixing these symptoms won’t hide or allow you to get to the real problem for long.

I know this is over said, but there are things out there that only time can fix. If it was meant to be fixed, only time can heal the problem so that it eventually can be fixed. Time can allow you to go to your own corner and figure out what the real problem is.

Time is a torturous thing though. Especially for someone like me who thinks he can fix things right now. Someone who just wants to make things better as soon as he can. Sadly, as I’m learning, intentions and reality are often completely unrelated.

I don’t think I’ll give up this mentality to fix things. However, I will entertain the fact that time is a good and viable solution to some problems. There are situations where it’s best to let time run its course and let things settle.

I'll just learn to wait patiently as time does its thing.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I will neither confirm nor deny that I’ve had a fifth of whisky tonight

That was what I found on my screen the next morning after a long night of hitting the bottle. No occasion really. Just thought that bottle was a little too full.

I think I had something great to post and I was about to. Made myself a little drink and I’d get started. The drink got a bit bigger, and refills were involved. As you can see, writing didn’t really work out.

You know what I think would make the world just a little tiny bit better? I think when you cut in front of someone while driving, you should wave. It doesn’t matter if they let you in or you forced yourself in. A little wave won’t hurt.

It can be a sign of gratitude or maybe a sign of apology (sometimes you just gotta cut). I think that little wave can go a long way in calming the other driver. It doesn’t take that much effort so why not do it?

I know from my personal experience, a hand wave can change a situation from me wanting to follow you home then sending you pictures of your children at school to a simple smile and wave back.

There are a lot of crazies out there. You don’t want to be pissing off the wrong one.

So this weekend when you’re driving around, take the second to wave when you have to cut someone off or get in front of them in a hurry.

Stop being such an asshole. If you have to be one though, just remember to wave.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Start of a New Season

Today (I started this post a few days ago, so it’s not actually today) was a special day. I went to my dad’s retirement party at work. I’ve been to his workplace several times, but I’ve never really been there you know? It’s not like I hang out there, or ever met any of his coworkers. I know what he does at his job about as much as he knows what I do (it's funny to hear him try to explain what I do cause it's not even close).

I was running late for the party. I figured it’d just a little thing, some food, and people would come in and out. As I drove up, my dad was supposed to meet me to walk to the place where they were holding the party. I didn’t see him there. Instead, there was a large man standing there to greet me.

He told me that my dad had gone along with the big boss and that he was there to escort me. The very large man said that this is the first time the big boss has ever come to one of these things so it’s not good to disappoint him. I couldn’t get over this guy. He was a very nice guy even though he could probably crush me like a grape with his arms. Arms that were larger than my head (this is saying a lot if you’ve ever seen my head).

We came through the back of the room in time to hear the big boss make a speech. Looking around, there were a lot of people than I had expected (I later found out that everyone was there. Who was actually running the plant I don’t know). Even people from other areas as well as people who weren’t even working that day came to this thing.

There were several speeches about my dad. Not just from the bosses, but from a lot of the guys that worked with my dad. These were big manly dudes, guy’s guys. It was strange to see their reactions as they were visibly trying to keep it together. One guy actually excused himself. He actually said he was going to lose it if he stayed any longer.

A lot of people came and talked to me during the party. Strangely (to me anyway), they knew a lot about me. They knew most of the places I’ve lived, what I’ve been doing. Apparently, my dad talks more about us (the kids) than we ever knew. Funny enough, everyone had a different idea of what I did.

After the main party, my dad’s direct team of coworkers went back to their break room for a more private meeting. A few of these guys have been working with him for over a decade. It was very special to hear what they had to say. There was nothing fake about this. There was a real sense of happiness and sadness going on there.

My dad has worked there forever. Through that, he put food on the table. Gave us a place to call home. Put us through college. He really wasn’t around that much because of work

Hearing these stories from these other people really gave me a new perspective on what my dad might actually be like. I've never actually gotten to know him. As I’ve gotten older, and since I’ve moved back, we’ve done a lot more things and spent more time together.

Guess later is better than never.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

In case you didn't know


Final Harry Potter book to be released on July 21