Cause if I put the post I really want up, it would be pathetic.

Instead, I'll give you this.

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.Quagmire: Oh God.(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!(Quagmire drinks again.)Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!