Reason # 14,763 why I can not have children

Due to some last minute change of plans in my last business trip, I had to try to get a car at the airport. For some reason, there were no cars left in Orange County except one.

One big ass, big as a whale, love shack-seats-about-20-super-mini-van. This was the only car they had left in all the rental places and since I needed a car, that’s what I got.

*Travel Tip of the day – If you have to rent a car last minute like this, tell them you have a corporate account. Say you work for someone like GE, Sprint, or pretty much any fortune 100 company. You’ll get a much better rate and the rental people doesn’t check any type of ID.

What I learned is that I can’t drive anything this big. Every turn was a 9 point turn. Parking is a nightmare. I thought about picking people up at the airport and acting as a taxi to make up for all this room I had in the car.

I don’t think I could possibly drive this thing and have screaming children in the back. If they did, they’re just gonna have to get the hell out and walk.

To top it all off, I had to fill up the tank before returning the van, I was filling a quarter of a tank. Do you know how much that was? $40. Yup. $40 for a quarter of a tank. I drove from the airport to the hotel and once out for dinner. You’re looking at maybe 30 miles tops total.

BTW, Lucy gets 49 mpg.

So in conclusion, no big ass vans for me so probably I’m not fit to have children. I know mini-vans are not a requirement for children, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.