The Things I Do for My Friends

I was in Nashville this last weekend for an old college friend’s bachelor party. I haven’t seen this guy in quite awhile. Him, me, and another friend were trouble when we got together in college. For some reason when we were together, all reason goes out the door, heavy drinking and stupidity always ensued.

Me and the friend went up on Saturday. We checked in at the hotel and proceeded to meet the bachelor at his uncle’s house. It was amazing as we turned in the subdivision. This is the Bel Air of Nashville. The houses were all large and manor-ly. They were very nice and not tacky as some big houses/neighborhoods can be. A real sense of old money.

I later found out this is where Al Gore lives too. I drove by Al’s house today!! Hi Al!!

When we got there, we chatted a bit and did some catching up. As it always happens, we talked about some old drinking stories. Man, were we stupid then. I may have to write some of those down sometime, they're stupidity in rare form.

Now that we’re together again, I’m sure stupidity would again come out and party with us. At least that’s what I’m expecting.

We first went to a professional hockey game. Having always lived in the south of wherever I’m at, hockey was not a game that I grew up with or even know much about. I know there's a puck, a net and every now and then, a fight. This was my first introduction to hockey other then the 2 seconds I’d watch flipping through the channels.

In case you didn’t know, I’m one for screaming and cheering loudly. It doesn’t matter much about what I’m screaming for, it’s just fun for me to scream either cheers and boos. I don’t get to boo openly at people that often. I totally think we need to boo more in regular conversation. Sports events are where I let out all my boos.

This hockey game had all that I was looking for. The crowd was loud and fired up. The action was fast. Of course, the gigantic beers didn’t hurt either. I was screaming all over the place. People around me thought I was a good fan.

Good times. I may have to go back for another.

After the game, we met up with a few more guys (there was now 18 people in all). We were in the middle of the clubs and bars of Nashville. I know from experience that this is an extremely fun place. So many fun bars and stuff. When asked what was next, I fully expected a night of fun bar hopping. You know what the majority of the people said? Nudie bar.

Damn it.

Another in case you didn’t know. I HATE nudie bars. I don’t understand the concept or any good reasoning why anyone would go to a place to look and not be able to do anything about. There are also crazy rules about these places in Tennessee as well. You can either be full nude but BYOB, or serve, but the girls have to have pasties and a G-string. If you go to the full nude place, there’s no contact at all, and the places that serve, a bud light will cost you about $8.

Yes, it’s insanely stupid.

With the amount of cash that you would drop at one of these places, wouldn’t it be better to go to a bar and spend it on real girls? You’d probably see the same amount of skin plus you’ll probably be able to touch, and there maybe a chance you can take one home.

All that’ll happen at a nudie bar is you’ll be poor and unsatisfied.

I kept my mouth shut and just went with the crowd. After all, it’s not my bachelor party. We elected to go to a full nude place so we had to first drive around to find some beer and liquor. Tennessee doesn’t allow beer to be sold with liquor and vice versa so 2 stops had to be made.

We finally get in and we sit down. Not much to report here. Just the same boring stuff. Sadly, I was more interested in the girl’s pole skills and wondering how they move around in those stripper heels then I was looking at them. The thing that I noticed was that even though Nashville has some of the most attractive women I’ve seen, they certainly weren’t working at these places.

They traded hot drunk chicks which we would’ve seen at the bars for these girls. No my bachelor party I know.

I got smacked by a couple of friends throughout the night cause I was texting some people. They were all like, there’s a naked chick on stage, why’re you texting? You know what, I’ve seen it and my texting was more interesting.

I didn’t say that, but still.

I was thinking later as to who was more for going to the bars and who was more for going to the nudie bars. There was an almost equal amount of single and married guys. Can you guess who was more for which place?

If you said, married guys more for nudie bars, then you’re right.

At first I thought this was odd, but then it really does make sense for all the reason that I didn’t like nudie bars.

At a nudie bar, there’s no chance of going very far with the strippers. Frankly, you just don’t have that much money. With the alcohol being so expensive, you probably won’t drink that much. Whereas I guess at a bar, they could be tempted with a hot drunk chick. Guess it’s about playing it safe.

At least that’s what I think.

Well, the important thing is that I think the bachelor had a good time.

Making me see naked chicks. Oh, the sacrifices I make for my friends.