I Encountered A Girl…
But I fucked it up.
So I’m in line for a six inch sub and I’m just, you know, having a day. Then this woman-child gets in line behind me. I look and I say, “Don’t I know you? Wait, do you work here?” I have no tact whatsoever.
It turns out that we took a few college courses together, mainly clarinet ensemble. She’s a golf coach now, me a physics geek. Anyway, honey-dip is hot.
We talk for however long it takes to spread mayo on bread. It’s all going good.
But here’s how it ends:
“I gotta go. But wait, I have a cell phone (it’s true, I have a cell phone). Though it doesn’t work, see check it out. Somebody sat on it. But I’m collecting old, unwanted or broken phones for a project. Yeah, I wanna write code to them, you know learn the platform, and perhaps create an emulator for my pc. Sooooo do you have any old phones you’re willing to part with?”
“Sure I have several. I don’t think they’re broken, just unwanted.”
“GREAT!!! I’ll be your friend if they come with chargers and/or SIM cards.”
“Well I’ll have to look around, but I’ll see what I can do.”
I pay for my sub and leave. Yup, the same shit I was good at in high school—dropping the ball. And I’ll never see her again. I forgot her name, didn’t get her number, nothing.
“I like broke phones and I can not lie.”