I’m not dead.

I check on THIS once a month.
But what do you know?

For lunch today I had the hot wing combo number 2 for a mere $6.50 from a small joint called the Best Hot Wings on Eisenhower Parkway. Zaxby’s and dare I say MoJo’s had best bow down. A combo number 2 includes 10 hot hot hot (that’s extra hot) wings, fries and a medium drink. I also asked for blue cheese dressing and no carrots just celery. And they got it right on the first try!

Now that I’ve finished my mid day sustenance, I find that my fingers stick to the keys of my keyboard. What’s worse is now the keys are all different colors. Red is dominant of course, but there is also green, yellow and whitish blue. The mouse is a permanent attachment to my hand.

Let me explain. Along with my hot wing combo number 2 I received two napkins. That’s what, 1 napkin per 5 wings? Hey, that’s all right. I’m generally not a messy eater. But opps, they forgot to give me napkins for the hot sauce itself. The purpose of the fries is to sop up the remaining sauce after eating the wings. Duh!

So I’m out of napkins, but I have a pile of construction paper near by and that’s when things get a little messy. I told you about the keyboard. While I was washing my fingers, in the mirror I noticed specks of particle paper in my hair, goat-tee, fingernails, between my teeth, on my sweater, everywhere. I was a confetti of food crumbs, eraser shavings (I work through lunch) and multi-colored paper dust. You try using construction paper as napkins and see what results you get.

So to wrap things up, I am a messy eater and I need more than two napkins especially if I ordered chicken. I mean come on, if I ordered a bucket of fried chicken and got only two napkins, some heads will roll. And you know this. Yeah, I asked for more napkins and the clerk said, "What you get, dey in dere." But I need extra! I ordered extra hot wings; I need extra more napkins. Get on it!!!

That’s it.