Necessary Cheesyness
The Best Movie EVER? Hardly.
Original Idea? Not Really.
Laugh out loud comedy merits? Nothing to brag about.
Cheesy with ever sport cliché that they can fit into 108 min.? Oh yea!
On Pup’s top 10 best movies ever? You bet your sweet ass.

Necessary Roughness. A movie about a bunch of has-beens, never-will-bes, and underdogs (much like the actors who stared in the movie) playing football in the ever menacing world of Texas football. As one critic said “Necessary Roughness is a brutal exercise in stale jokes that shows no imagination, and no hope of capturing the audience’s. …”

Ok, so it’s not a good movie, but that’s not why it makes it on my list. It was the whole package. This was the first real “date” movie that I saw with my first (later to be) real longtime girlfriend. Those group outing dates, roller rinks dates, or one daters don’t count.

Back during a more innocent time, when the Pup was a young naïve Pup, Necessary Roughness was the new movie at the multiplex. After courting a cute gal all during band camp, in an almost stutteringly nervous squeaky voice, Pup asked the gal if she’d like to go out with him after they returned from camp. Shortly after hearing one of the best words to ever come out of any gal’s mouth (yes), an overjoyed Pup turned around only to trip over a music stand. Very smooth.

So it was from here that Pup went out on his first official “date”. Being that neither could drive, Pup’s sister had to be bribed to drop Pup off at the restaurant and to be picked up later. The price was steep for the ride. Cash and chores were done for weeks. Little did Pup’s sister know that 5 years later, he would get revenge by flipping and crushing her car on a hwy (Bwhahaha).

It was agreed that the gal and Pup would meet at the restaurant. A very lovely Olive Garden located next to the theater was the chosen place. Pup was there before her, and instead of waiting, Pup’s sister drove quickly to the mall. So Pup was just standing there waiting, more nervous than a gay man at the Southern Baptist convention.

Out of nowhere, Pup felt a gentle tap on the shoulder and proceed to screech like a small girl. Seeing the gal behind him quickly turned his fear response to a total embarrassing shame. This was funny, really, and not pathetic as you’re probably imagining it in your head.

The Olive Garden, or as some of us call it, the OG (some of us being me and us voices in the head), was quite nice. The tables were clothed and candle lit. The roof was a big glass dome so the night light shined through (very fancy for the OG I know). Dinner was good. The conversation flowed smoothly. No awkward silences or anything. So everything’s going great Pup said to himself as he went to use the rest room. When he came back, the gal was gone.

The rational thought was that she went to the restroom. Being the naïve Pup, there was no rational thought. The only thing on Pup’s mind was ‘the purse is gone, good god, she’s taken off’. So Pup decide to wait a bit. Leaving now would be silly. And illegal since he hasn’t paid the bill yet.

Being the quickly bored type, Pup started playing with the candle. The poor plant next to the table took some damage that night. “Hey”. Once again startled, Pup looked up to see the gal nice and freshen up (really where was she going to go? Not like now when they can just drive away. Not that that’s happened or anything).

The conversation continued as the desert was finished and Pup asked for the check. Pups have sensitive noses. So when the scent of something burning began, Pup quickly became aware and looked around. Turning to the plant, a few leaves had begun to burn. It seems that Pup didn’t move the candle back to it original place and was thus slowly heating up the plant. After putting out the mini-fire with his napkin, Pup and the gal quickly paid the check and exited the OG before they became wise to the shenanigans that took place. That and the partially burnt plant, and ruined napkin.

The movie theater was across the street from the restaurant. Friday night at peak hours, the cars were speeding through the streets. A real game of Frogger began as Pup held the gal’s hand and sprinted across the street. Sadly, it was the other way around towards the end since she ran faster than Pup.

We watched Necessary roughness, but I don’t remember much of the movie. My mind was too pre-occupied with “Should I hold her hand?” “When do I go for the hand grab?” “Maybe the yawn move?” Argh!! The pressure!

About half way in the movie, Pup made a move and it was warmly greeted. Yay!

After the movie ended, it was off to the pay phones (yes, people used those back in my days. None of this cell phone crap) to call the sister for a pick up. After being bullied into doing more chores than initially agreed upon, the sister came to pick up Pup and the gal.

The ride back was quiet. That is, until the sister started asking questions about the night. Putting the gal on the spot with embarrassing questions and slight hints of bodily threats. That was a good time had by all. By all, I mean only the sister.

So we arrive at her house. The gal and I get out of the car. Instead of going to the front door which is in clear view of the drive way, she goes towards the back door (I found out later that this was done on purpose. Silly Pup. So naïve). “Do you usually go through the back door” Pup asks (stop it with your nasty thoughts). “Umm, not usually.”

Small talk continued for what seem like forever. Nervous Pup wasn’t interested in anything he said or what she was saying. The thoughts of kissing her now are screaming in his head. Right when the silence bragan creeping in between the two and the sounds of the night could be heard, the flood light turns on in the backyard. Arghh.. the light!! The fight/flight response kicked in and he went in for the kiss.

The kiss was short, but in Pup's mind, it would last forever.

How good was Necessary Roughness the movie? It’s not bad, but it’s far from being good.
How good was Necessary Roughness as Pup experienced it? Priceless.