So after having some drinks after work, I decided to go to Sam’s. The big Evil Warehouse shopping where everything is in bulk. Where 10 gallon drums of Mayo, or 30Lb slabs of cow can be easily found. This is a scary place on so many levels. For me, being the cheap bastard that I am, it’s like taking a crack-head to a crack house and telling him to not touch anything.
So I’m wondering through this big warehouse of excess. Wonderful if I was a family of 12, but being that I live alone, buying a 96 load tub of Tide detergent was unnecessary (I got it anyway though cause it’s WAY cheap). Anyone need to wash their clothes?
Also, in my impaired judgment, I also thought it’d be a good idea to by a 16-pack of gum (smallest they’ve got), and a big ass 5 lb bad of gummy bears. Now the gummy bears I can handle. I’m trying to work it into Gummy bear meals for me all next month. Guess how much it cost me? $5!!! $5 for 5 lbs of Gummy bears! The enjoyment of biting their heads off is easily worth that.
So now I’ve got about 10 items in my cart. None of which is the olive oil. The olive oil which is actually the only thing I needed to get from this place. I just picked up a Gross of giant candy rope though. Mmmm.. candy rope. 3 packs of Beef Jerky? Yes please.
Did you know they sell drugs at Sam’s? Big ol’ family pack of Advil. I need that of course. That and economy pack of Condoms- Family sized (that woulda been funny).
I finally got out there with a considerable amount of damage to the ol’ credit card. All for about 15 items or so. 14 of which I didn’t need.
Be careful when you drink boys and gals. Don’t drive and don’t go to Sam’s.
On a happy note, I just found out a totally awesome DJ (Sandra Collins) is coming to this cultural hellhole. Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh. I’ve been wanting to see her badly for years now. I love her music and nothing, I mean NOTHING is hotter than a female DJ laying down some hard ass beats.
Time for Pup to get his UFO pants on and get down.
Watch the debates tonight!!
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