Friday, October 08, 2004

Shoplifting for Jesus!

Pastor/Politician: You're not going to like this.
Congregation: Praise the Lord.
P: But you aint getting any richer, any healthier, nor any wiser.
C: Preach on!
P: And its gonna be that way for a long time.
C: Alright, alright!
P: In 2000, 60% of you, my black people, would have had to move to gain the same wealth as your white counterparts!
C: That's true! Right on! I aint moving neither!
P: No! My brother! That's segregation!!! That's wrong in the eyes of the lord.
P: How far you got to go just to go to the bank? Why aint your streets paved? How easy is it for you get a loan for a new home?
P: Didn't you know you're underrepresented by your state and the national government?
C: The Lord said it on high!
P: And what about them uppity Negroes?
C: Uhh-ohh
P: You know who I'm talking 'bout. Yeah, you big time! It aint even about how you got there. I'm proud for you. While you keep getting bigger and bigger, making a name for yourself, your people keep dwindling away. What you think they gonna do to you when you the only black left? Just keep that in mind. I gone from preaching to meddling. Ha ha! Hehe! HaHA!!!!
P: All my beautiful black people, we need your vote.
C: Yes, Lord!
P: The white man two cubes down...oh, he gonna vote just before he leaves for vacation to Nassau for the winter. The girl in receiving votes cause its exciting. "It's like getting a new dress." These self indulgent fools have no conviction. And if you let them, my people, my beautiful Afro-Americans, they will rob you of your voting power.
C: What!?
P: That's right. Cause they know that when you vote, 90% of you vote democrat. So they try to divide us. Keep us distressed and confused. They say, "Kerry's a lying son of--. He don't give a damn about black people. But Bush has Powell and Rice representing blacks." "Kerry plans to raise taxes on your ass. You won't be able to get your new ride after all. He even gonna do away with the tax break for single parents."
C: {silence}
P: But that's the voice of the devil, ya'll.
C: phew!
P: So you needs to get out and vote. And more than that you needs to talk to your state representative. Tell 'em you want to join or start a political action group. Tell 'em to go to hell if you don't like 'em or pump the fist in the air if they bout it, bout it! Let your voice be heard. Else you gonna be just as extinct as the do-do bird.
C: Amen, Brother!
P: Let's close with a prayer.

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