Friday, October 01, 2004

So many Questions, so little time.

Ok, here we go.

Why do men always lie when they think they'll getreprimanded for it????....-What he REALLY said: "Oh yea, that's it, now suck meoff bitch, suck me off"-What he CLAIMS he said: "Now, suck me off, finish meoff"
I think in that situation, you should move quicklybehind him, then jam 2 fingers up his ass. Then ask politely about what he just said.

....Is there any way to extend the hours in the day? I have soo much to do and 24hours doesn't give me enough time to work and play.
I could do that, but there are a group of evil monkeys preventing me from making such decisions. The sad thing is that they used to be good monkeys.

....Is there any place in the BigD area that has a nice clean neighborhood with a 1 bedroomhouse/apartment with verrry cheap rent? Must include neighbors who don't mind listening to me scream late at night
There’s this one area that I saw that fits yourdescription. I’ll try to catch the name of it next time. I saw it on Cops.

Why, Pup, why?
Nothin’ wrong with having a little junk in the trunk. Don’t hate LiAps.

Why not?
Hey, I’m all for it. You’re the one that thinks it's stretching too much.

Will there be a future for the Pup and his specialCali friend?
Oh goodness no. Let it go man. New Coke didn’t work. This won’t either.

How about will T score by the 1/1/2005?
I’ve checked with Vegas, they’re willing to give you 9-1 odds on that. Any takers?

1) could you please explain the infield fly rule?
Very good question. It's pretty long and a bit complicated to explain. Check MLB for this rule.
(can't get link to work)

2) how many licks does it take to get to the tootsieroll center of a tootsie pop?
42. That’s the average though. I knew a girl that could do it in 21 licks. Oh goodness her mouth is like a vaccum something… just a pure licking machine… oh sorry.. got distracted. It’s 42.

3) what is the air speed velocity of an unladenswallow?
What kind, African, or European? Damn it, I need more information!

4) how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if awoodchuck could chuck wood?
You know, I’m quite tired of this question. Who the hell has even SEEN a woodchuck? Much less one that was chucking? Or much much less one that was chucking wood? I think some dudes who were high came up with this. “dude.. check it out. Woodchuck.. chuckwood…” “yea.. that’s awesome” Pass the blunt....

5) when should i use "whom" rather than "who"?
Do I sound like a damn Grammer bear to you? Am I a care bear with the special ability to correct your grammer when I shoot my grammer ray from my stomach? If I shot you, it'd be with a newly legal AK. I ain’t got.. no, I ain’t need none of yo grammer bullshit. Yous all just trying to keep me down with that… Whom’s ass am I kicking next?

6) 2 trains leave boston for washington d.c. at thesame time. train one averages 62.14 mph, train 2averages 57.80 mph. what is the maiden name of themother of the conductor on train 2?Ha! Trick question. The mother didn’t have a maiden name because she was never married. Almost got me there.

7) would you like any more questions?
Yes. I’m a question Whore. Question Whore I am.

1) What does it feel to have a chicken between your legs?
Beaks are sharp, and nothing sharp should be any where near downthere. Unless it is for shaving or trimming purposes. Which then I'm all for.

2) Do you have single horny female friends who I cancontact to contact my boyfriend's horny nephews?
Would I be blogging so much if I did?

3) Why do dogs smell like dogs?
It’s a spray they put on. It allows them to hide themselves from the aliens that are observing us right now. One day, the aliens will attack, and the dogs will be ready for the suprise counter offensive. They will be there to save us. Yay dogs! Treat them well.

Why is Ko a chump?
Yo, you know I ain’t got that much room. Actually, if he sets up this Jan. and I can close the deal. He’ll be damn smooth.

Where's the beef?
Right here. Come and get you some.

Why does haloscan suck ass?
Like you could do better. Besides, depending on the ass, sucking ass may not be all that bad.

Why is it free?
Cause it ain’t got no crack habit.

Why do I complain?
Cause you don’t have a plan. And you're a little bitch trying to be all hard and shit. You ain't hard.

Why keep hope alive?
Cause she owes me 10 dollars.

Why is Ko gay?
I’ve see his FiancĂ©. That’s 1 more girl than I’ve ever seen you with.

Whose house??
MY House bitch. I know they're mega cheesy, but I LOVE those under armor commercials. We must protect this HOUSE...

Ever see them play the question game on Whose Line isit Anyway, where they answer every question with a question?
What do you think?

Why do the same guys keep staring at my boobs dayafter day? I understand the first time: yes, you're a guy, and yes, those are my boobs. But the next day...still staring! and the day after that...they haven't changed!!! Why is this?
I’m sorry I’ll stop doing that.

Why are you a choad?
Considering you were once my student, which made you a student of a choad, I would talk. Choad in training. That’s down there with the assistant crack whore.

1. How many chucks can a woodchuck chuck, if awoodchuck could chuck wood?
Oh again with the woodchuck. Where’s that assault rifle? I’ll show you woodchuck chuck.

2. If Pup could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would he choose?
Someone I didn’t know? Top of my head - All the top religious folks (JC, Mo, Buddha), Sarah McLachlan, a real dino, Hitler.. I'm sure there are better ones, but I can't think of any now.
Someone I knew? My Mum

3. What type of biscuit would you be? (I'm agingernut.)
I'd be a biscuit covered with sausage gravy. Mmmm.. Sausage and gravy.

4. Why DO dogs have wet noses?
That's how they sweat.

5. If you HAD to, as a matter of life or death, wouldyou sleep with George Bush, or Gary Coleman? You have to choose one.
If I just got to give, then George. If I had to receive, then Gary. If I had to do both.... Hmmm.. I'll go with Gary I think.

Do you really not know the difference between jellyand jam?
No. I’m not all that sure the difference between butter and Margarine either.

1. Why are they singing about mattresses on the radio?
That’s to appease the mattresses Gods. If they don’t they’ll send monsters through your mattress and get you when you’re sleeping. Ok, so don’t tell your kids that, but it’s the truth.

2. Where does news come from?
When people do stupid things, news is born. Also, when people do great things, news is born. So don’t just live your life in the middle of the road, make some news. Either way, it’ll help you grow as a person.

3. Why is that man riding his bike in traffic?
So you can have a little bit cleaner air and you’ll be less likely to develop asthma. Thank that man. That or he’s just looking to show off his biker shorts in public.

Thank you all for your questions. This was a lot harder than I first thought.

My name is Pup, and I approve these answers.

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