Another Year Bites the Dust..
Biting the dust. What does that even mean? Are you one of those micro-organic dust particles that can do that? When you say someone bit the dust are you calling them extremely small? I don’t understand.
So another year of my life has gone by. Like those annual reviews you get at work, I always take some time out on my birthday to evaluate how the year went and where we need to be in a few years and make the plans and goals for next year.
This sounds extremely boring and neurotic, but it’s not (well it is, but not). It’s very fun to listen to being that there are all these voices in my head. Like a mini-congress. All with their own agendas.
I like to think it works similarly to the British Parliament. If you are unfamiliar, I recommend you watch some CSPAN-2. It is most excellent.
So here’s a taste:
Academic Nerdy Pup: Madam chairperson, it has come to our attention that after finishing the dissertation last year, we have done nothing in terms of research or even reading. Hell, we haven’t read a book without pictures in a while. We demand a return to more academic pursuits!!
Activities Pup: Might Madam chairperson please remind the memory challenge academic pup that we have spent the last several years doing nothing but this academic crap. It’s fun time people. I propose trips! Ibiza, Costa Rica, OZ, or Japan! We need to increase our worldliness.
Budget Pup: Madam. We’re so broke we’re not turning on heat this winter. All bodily functions have been notified. I propose we go back to stealing stuff. That really cuts down on our expenses.
Lazy Pup: That takes WAY too much effort. Let’s just stop eating. That’ll save money.
Artistic Pup: Madam Chairperson. I would like to point out that we have failed to fund the arts in quite a while. I think the last thing we did creatively was 2 years ago in the form of mashed potatoes.
Professional Pup: Art doesn’t pay the bills Madam Chairperson. We need to work harder and move on to higher bigger more money positions! BTW, there’s some nice money making schemes that R&D is doing that we should explore.
Ghetto Pup: Yo, why don’t we buy 40 ozs more often? They’re cheaper and they're cool.
Budget Pup: It’s not cheaper!
Professional Pup: Madam chairperson. Why is he even here?
Ghetto Pup: Bitch, I’ll cut you.
Anarchist Pup: Screw this. Let’s go blow stuff up.
Academic Pup: Really. Madam chairperson, we need to pursue more research and academic topics to avoid people like this from taking over.
DJ Pup: Hey, I’m with you on what pays the bill. Let’s get back to DJing. It’s artistic and it pays the bill.
Academic Pup: Madam Chairperson. We have a seriously high degree, I don’t think spinning our little records are the best use of our abilities.
Ghetto Pup: So what? I ain’t got no degree. I can still kick yo ass.
How you like them apples?
Academic Pup: Technically you do since you’re us.
Ghetto Pup: Ain't never gotten no ass with yo degree.
Id Pup: True. Got no where last year Madam Chairperson. Our group is very disappointed in our accomplishments in this area.
Alcoholic Pup: Who needs a drink? I could use a drink.
This is funnier in real time and in my head.
This goes on for hours and hours. There is a set of goals and plans that gets worked out in the end so that’s good.
Here's to hoping we make the goals this year!