Stuff about Monkeys.

As I’ve stated many times in personal conversations and here on the blog, I’m a big fan of monkeys. My dream is to purchase an island where I can develop an army of super militant monkeys and get on the list for the Axis of evil.

We will have a giant floating skull to call as our headquarters. Unless my island has a volcano. In which case, I would have to hollow out parts to build my headquarters with a big red ‘Do NOT Push’ button that will make the volcano erupt. This will also serve as the major flaw so someone can foil my plans. Yes, one big part of having a big evil scheme is to have a big obvious flaw that can be easily exploited.

Yea, yea, we know your plans already. So where is this all coming from you ask?

In a very interesting article yesterday, a SWAT team from Arizona is applying for a $100,000 grant to train a monkey for recon and other type of duties for the SWAT team.

Other people may laugh at you now, but they won’t be when the monkey becomes a highly trained tactical killing machine that will replace human SWAT teams.

I have an application for a $1 million dollar grant to train Ninja monkeys to fight terrorism. I’m sending the grant in as part of the renewal for the Patriot act. They’ll let anything get in there, so I’m pretty excited about my chances. Oh yea, it’ll also be a “faith-based” ninja training course too. So I’m definitely going to get the funding as it seems they don’t care what you do as long as you have the “faith-based” part in front.

See example:

How Bush's faith-based say-no-to-sex sex education is failing our kids

See got to talk about 2 monkeys in one post.

Happy Wednesday everyone!