Thursday, January 06, 2005

Fade into the Half-Lite

So I think I screwed up last night. Actually I'm damn sure I screwed up. You be the judge.

A friend of mine has been nagging me to call her. She wants to know how I spent my holidays. Yesterday I shot her an e-mail promising I'd call early in the evening.

Well before I left work my homeboys called. A spaghetti dinner was to be had, movies were to be watched, computers gonna be hooked up.... How can I pass that up?

I got home, put on my hip-hop gear, grabbed the party essentials and walked past the phone. I didn't think of her until 12:30a...after there was no one else to talk to. After thinking of her waiting for my call.

"Is it too late to call?" Probably.
"Should I call anyhow?" .....
"Damn!!! I fucked up!"

What do I do? Nothing's on the television. The music I listen to scares me too much. THIS HAS HAPPENED TWICE...WITH THE SAME GIRL!!!!!!!

I make excuses.

"She's long distance. She should be calling me."
"I hate telephones as it is! It always seems as if I'm talking to myself."
"I didn't do anything for the holidays! That's gotta be obvious if I don't call."
"I shouldn't feel bad. I don't want anyone to care for me." (classic)

Defense mechanisms.

I'm too blind to see that she really "likes" me. Its simple to see. Maybe its too simple--

The kicker. I receive an e-mail from her this morning addressed to me and several of her mentors.

"Urgent! Don't forget to mail recommendations! Deadline approaching! These are the places...."

I'm such a dumbass.

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