Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Death know's I'm ticklish...

but she keeps tickling me.

"Stop!" I say. "The pleasure pains me."
"Giggle, giggle!"
"Wait. I'm not the one who died."
"I know. But you intrigue me. How do you feel?"
"I don't know. I feel like laughing! I feel uninhibited! I feel happy. I feel ALIVE!!!"
"Funny feeling, isn't it?"

And I go blank.

It's no new news now. My father died 6 weeks ago and here I am picking up the pieces of my life.

Where was I before that tragic day? What was I doing? What does it matter?
I'm in the here and now and I want to live a new life. And have fun like I never did before. I want to be happy. But I don't want to force it.

I take a walk downtown and I see a mime dressed like a statue in wedding attire.

"Can you help me?" I ask. "Do you know where I'm headed? I'm looking for myself. I'm trying to find the new me."

The new me. Who is the new me? Will I like me?

I'm ready to begin anew! And I feel it in my nerves. It feels like freedom! A freedom like I never knew before. I'm ready for a change, a change for the better.

I really can't explain it better than this

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