B-day: Birthday or just another bad day?

I was talking with a co-worker/cube neighbor the other day. She had mentioned that she was going to take the day off for her birthday. This seems like a great idea, so I asked her what she’s doing. Big party? Drunken goodness?

No she answered. She had to drive her children around to buy them school supplies, run some errands for her husband, and take care of the dog. Wha? What the? Are you serious? You did say it was YOUR birthday right?

She seemed surprised that I would suggest that she would do anything special for herself on her birthday. I ratted off a list of things that she could do tomorrow. I even quoted some 50 cent (this is very funny because she’s an older very conservative lady) about what she should be doing tomorrow. She laughed and said she’d try.

Two days later. She comes back to work. When I finally felt normal enough to talk to people at work(11am), I went over to her cube and asked her what she did.

She told me exactly what she said she was going to do. Drive the children around, doing errands for the hubby, and cleaned up poop after the dog. This was her birthday day off!. I asked her if she did anything special for herself, she answered no. I asked her about the number of things that I had suggested the other day. She said “no, I don’t deserve anything like that. I’ve got kids now, and a husband, so they’re more important”. Well, did your kids or husband do anything for you? “No.” Good presents? “No.” A cake? “No.” Argh!!

What the Hell? You take care of them all year and they can’t do one damn thing for you? Not even on your birthday? WTF?(I said this more tactfully, but the same message). I just kinda stood there in amazement. Not even because her family did so little/nothing for her birthday, but that she was ok with it. I’ve been wondering why she’s one of the most pessimistic/depressing person I’ve ever met. Listening to her talk to her family after all these months is just sad too, cause I know there’s going to be another generation just like her.

It’s odd to look at the face of someone who doesn’t understand that they should be made to feel special, or to hear someone say that they don't deserve some pampering every once in a while. It’s sometimes difficult for us to understand that not everyone was made to feel the way we were growing up, or have the type of family and friends that makes us feel so special.

People, take care of yourself! Like on airplanes, put the oxygen mask on yourself first before assisting others. Well, it’s kinda like that... You can’t take care of others if you’re all screwed up yourself. Know that.

I’ve decided to bake a cake for her tomorrow. With chocolate frosting and everything. I cook well, but baking is not a forte with the pup. I’m going to try to make it in the shape of a pup, but she won’t know what it means.

I'll pick up something from the store too. Everyone should have something for their birthday.