Airport Manners

I was sitting at the airport again the other day. Being generally bored because I’m too paranoid about missing my flights so I’m there 3 hours early every time. For a while there in the beginning, I was thinking this is a good time to catch up on the magazines. See what’s new, who’s dating who, what to wear, what not to wear, and what was SO yesterday. Yes, I’m very girly this way (actually I’m just an information whore. I need to know EVERYTHING. Sad really.). Anyway, I hang out by the magazine stores a lot and read.

Soon I found out that there’s only so much information one can gather from magazines, or in the case of any magazine with a hot female on the cover, nothing. Argh, I hate magazines that are just one big ad!! No I don't want to peel and sniff your page! Also, I found out it’s really hard to read magazines with all those stupid inserts falling out of every other page. I usually just stare at the cards as they fall on the floor, then I look back at my magazine. I’ve caught the evil glare of the employees as I left more than a few times. What in the world am I talking about…. Oh yea.

One thing that I see, although not often, but still enough that it is disturbing, are the guys that are looking at the nudie magazines in the airport. Yea, there are enough of them that they keep that section in almost every magazine place in airports. Yew I say. Three words for you. Digitalize your perv-ness. Bring a lap top and get some movies and/or gigs of picture if you want. Buy the magazine and go something private for some quality time with the magazine. Just don’t stand next to me drooling over naked hard-core porn while I’m reading Bon Apatite.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t look at porn or naked women. That’s all good. Just don’t be doing it in at the airport. That’s just nasty. Here’s the reason, if you can’t control yourself enough to not look at nudie women in such a public place like an airport, you’re certainly not going to control yourself about releasing your little soldiers in public.

Going to the bathroom and hearing pooping sounds is one thing, but hearing the guy in the stall next to you grunting and saying, albeit softly, “yea, that’s it, that’s how you like it.” is another whole disturbing thing. This is really gross and makes me want to pee at his shoes to make him stop.

Once again, not hating on the self-love/greatest love of all, but come on. Wait till you get home or hotel or something you Perv.