The Trials and Tribulations of Tiny Tricky Tiger T
Pup, Ko and T just hanging out at the mall:
Pup: Fool, when you gonna meet your quota?
T: I'm working on it.
Ko: Come on, Tee. I'll give you a quarter if you meet your quota.
T and P: Ko, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
K: Well guys, I think I'll get a milkshake and head home for a nap. See you chumps later.
P: Later Ko.
T: Why is Ko always taking naps? Is he a narcoleptic? Is he on the good shit? What gives?
P: Dude, its like this. I overheard his mom talking to my mom a long time ago and she said:
flashback to the conversation
Mrs. K: "For five years they had my Ko-Ko in the place for Down's syndrome kids. They poked and prodded and did what they could to determine if he has the disease. Five years!!! (sobbing) My poor little Ko-Ko. Finally they let him go.
Mrs. P: Why did they let him go so soon?
Mrs. K: They couldn't find anything. All the test came back "inconclusive."
Sequence ends. Return back to current time.
T: Inconclusive? That just means the doctors don't want to do the research. I mean Ko's my boy and all and they don't want to lift a finger to help him!?! Fucking MD's. I hate them all!!!
P: Dude, that's exactly what I said :) But get this. My mom told me later that inconclusive means that the boy is just dumb.
T: Oh.
P: Don't tell anyone I told you this, especially Ko.
T: I ain't saying nothing. Man, now I feel bad for Ko.
P: Yeah. But what about your dumbass self? Seven girls, T. You gotta talk 10 min. to seven girls each before 11:59p 31 Dec. 2004. You got six months left. If you don't get it done its your ass. I don't even care about the money. Wait. Its $50 and your ass!!!
T: I'm working on it already!!!
P: Have you even talked to one girl this year?
T: Uhhh...
P: Zelda don't count, Yuna don't count, family don't count, my friends don't count, co-workers don't count...
T:
P: So that's a no, then. Damn, T. That's a damn shame. Damn.
Audience: So now you know T's dilemma. If you were T how would you go about meeting the quota? I'm thinking, rather T's think he should get a giant blow-up doll of Yunnie (that's Miss Yuna to the rest of you) and spend lots of quality time with her.
Ko--That's right. I told you I'd get you back. Best know who you messing with, sucka.
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7 comments:
Ah yes, the Ko-factor. I don't care what you think, but the Ko factor would drive me nuts.
There's nothing for you to lose. You don't like it, you can go back to Yuna. Give it a try, that's all I'm saying.
You don't know if you'll end up with yuna, that's the fun part about finding out.
You have way too many pre-conceived notions about the ladies. Yes, sometimes they are a pain, but then so are you. However, I must say that they are very nice to be with. All soft and cuddly and stuff. Believe me for once, the real thing is really nice.
Take a damn chance for once. Stop being so fucken content about your life. Change is scary, but a good thing.
First of all, you are not low maintenance. Why does everyone think they're low maintenance? You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance who thinks you're low maintenance. Argh!! I'm so going to kick your ass. (Yes, I know where this is from, it's one of my favorite movies).
Say, refresh my memory will you? When was the last time you were dating a girl with a bad attitude? or good attitude? Better yet, when was the last time you were dating?
That's right... BUUURRRNNNNNN!!!
Try it, it's good. Get a damn clue.
If you really want to meet your quota, try hanging out at home and waiting for telemarketers to call you. Make sure you sound really interested in whatever they're selling, and it it's a guy, then hang up. Easy.
Other than that, try going to a bar and claiming to be a well-known but little seen celebrity. A guy I knew used to tell girls he was the cow in the Milk ads we have over here- the cow and his cow buddies would drive around in a cool car and pick up chicks in the ad, and that worked like a charm. Or tell girls you have some terminal illness...I'm sure you'll get a sympathy date.
(DISCLAIMER: I've never done any of that crap)
Don't be hating on the comic book store. Just cause you download all your stuff, don't be hating on the paper version. Hater.
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